Monday, February 25, 2008

A couple of crotch stories.

 I often go to  depositions in some random part of my southern state.  These depositions often consist of me asking  your typical Penny Painful-neck about a car accident she had with my client, Billy Bob.  

One time I was in some random town, and the Plaintiff's attorney insisted on sitting in 'his' chair.  This chair had armrests, and he needed armrests 'cause he had a "hurtin' back."  The deposition was in the afternoon, and Plaintiff Pat had been (allegedly) playing with his kids all morning.  Pat shows up in Patagonia jacket, and matching shorts.   (I'm wearing the requisite black suit with pearls and a pink button-down.)  Part-way through the deposition, Pat throws his leg over the armrests... and he BOUNCES his leg as I ask questions.  I don't know if he was wanting me to check out his junk or what... but I certainly never acknowledged that his leg was flailing over the armrest like a dying fish.  His client, who was sitting next to him, never knew it -- as he threw his leg over the armrest AWAY from her.  

Another random town, and another Plaintiff Pat -- I was last-minute reviewing documents in the waiting room of a rather nice office.  Wearing a skirt.  Deep in thought.  I suddenly felt something cold and wet in my crotchal area.  I jumped about four feet high to find a large german shepherd in front of me.  The dog had just been roaming around the office, and decided to greet me in the crotch.  

I'm just now figuring out that these nether-region situations aren't within the norm.  I haven't been practicing long.  Apparently I get treated differently than your average middle-aged attorney with hair growing out his ears.  Of course, I think the dog would've sniffed-out about anyone.  

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